This movie and the previously reviewed Sullivan's Travels are the only two movies on the list I hadn't even heard of before starting this project. Good sign or no?
Plot summary (with spoilers): So, there was the event in the 1930's and 40's called World War II, and according to Bart Simpson it was one of only three good wars. (The others being The American Revolution and The Star Wars Trilogy). This movie takes place immediately after the greatest generation's greatest war. Three soldiers are coming home. There's Homer Parrish, a sailor who lost both hands in an explosion, Fred Derry, a man who got married just two weeks before shipping out, and Al Stephenson, an older man with a wife and kids. They all live in the same town, and arrive back home on the same day in the same single-engine airplane. They didn't know each other before that day, but promise to KIT and be BFFs since they all live within a ten mile radius or so. They all take the same cab home from the airport, and Homer's dropped off first. His parents, little sister, and girlfriend all race out to greet him with warm enthusiastic hugs and smiles pasted on their faces. It's at first a bit glurgey and annoying that no one flinches at or even acknowledges his hook hands, but when he turns to wave goodbye to his new friends riding off in the cab, everyone in the family gapes openly at his hooks and looks super sad, and immediately when he turns back, the fake smiles reemerge. Nice moment. Though I kinda wanted Homer to say, "DON'T LOOK AT ME, I'M A MONSTER!!" and start ripping shit up.
Then Fred gets home next. He still lives with his mom and dad, but learns that his wife moved out awhile back and now works at a nightclub. The harlot! His mom and dad don't know what club, but they do have her new address, so Fred heads over there to meet her.
Then Al gets home, and greets his adult children (Peggy and Rob) and wife Millie with hugs and kisses all around, though there's also a weird tension there. He wants a drink, but his wife says there's no liquor in the house, and she wishes she'd known he was coming home today. Al wants to go out on the town anyway, and takes Peggy and Millie with him. He goes from bar to bar getting plastered, as wife and daughter patiently endure him.
Meanwhile, Homer tries to pick up a glass with his hook hands and drops it and everyone looks devastated, and finally Homer can't take all the pitying looks anymore, and leaves the house.
Fred also gets to his wife's apartment, discovers she's not home, and starts trolling nightclubs in an attempt to find her whoring ass.
They all meet up at a bar and have lots and lots of drinks and Fred hits on Peggy after asking her her name about five times. Millie drives everyone home, but when Fred still can't get into his wife's apartment, they take him back to stay with them. Then there's a weird and ridiculously long scene where Millie gets her passed out husband ready for bed, by taking off his shoes and socks and pants and putting on pj's and brushing back his hair and stuff and they show it all in real time and it seriously takes like 2-3 minutes. Who directed this, Gus van Sant? Then Peggy does the same for Fred, and at one point he drunkenly pulls her on the bed with him and paws at her, but she manages to squirm away. Then that night he has PTSD war dreams and wakes up screaming, while Peggy comforts him.
So we're about one of three hours in, and in the timeframe of the movie, less than 24 hours have transpired. Oh, and nothing's happened yet. So let's move this along:
So the next day, Fred finally gets to his apartment and finds his wife, who is thrilled to see him. He immediately demands she quit working because that's not for girls, silly. Then he gets back his old job as a soda jerk. His wife is mean to him, and isn't a good cook and is bad. Peggy comes into the soda shop and flirts with Fred and they go out to lunch and kiss in the parking lot afterwards, and then Peggy runs away because Fred's married and she's good.
Meanwhile, Homer is cold and aloof to his whole family, but especially his girlfriend Wilma. She hints that she wants to get engaged, but he's not having it.
Al gets a promotion at the bank he used to work at, but when he gives a loan to a veteran with no collateral, he gets bitched out by his bosses. Later that week, when a party is given in his honor, he gives drunken snarky speech about how he remembers one battle where he and his men almost took a Nazi hill, but decided to retreat instead because they had no collateral. Everyone is super uncomfortable and it's my favorite scene in the movie.
Peggy learns from Fred that he and his wife basically hate each other, and decides to break them up. But after she tells her mom of her plans, her mom talks her out of it. Al meets with Fred and forbids him from seeing his daughter again.
Homer visits Fred at work and encounters some 9/11 Truther who says FDR let the Japs attack us in order to trick us into entering a European Conflict that was none of our business and Homer tells the dirty traitor to get bent and when that doesn't work, Fred punches him out and gets fired. When Fred's wife learns of this, she leaves him.
Then Wilma tells Homer she wants to marry him, so he gives her a big speech about how helpless he is and how he needs his father to even dress and undress him and bathe him and all that (and they don't even get into the scatological stuff, thank God) and wants to know if this is what she really wants. She does.
Then Fred gets a new job working on airplanes or something.
Then Homer and Wilma get married. The preacher guy says the whole spiel and they say their vows and everyone watches and it plays out in real time. Like, seriously. I timed it. For 4 minutes and 23 seconds we watched fake people in a fake wedding. Even real ones are boring as shit. Then Peggy, at the wedding, approaches Fred and Fred tells her he's divorced and they kiss and finally we break, a few minutes shy of three hours. They should've thrown another wedding in there.
Review: It's not all terrible, and it's not anywhere near as sappy as I expected it to be. And frankly, I'm shocked that in 1946 a movie dared to look at some of the negative side-effects of our most glamorous war. The subject matter is the kind of thing you'd expect a couple decades later, after Korea and Vietnam. And the actors playing Al and Fred were very good, too. You could feel their discomfort, especially when they first got back. Al's desire to go out and drink and carouse was never underlined as a defense mechanism or a fear of just being alone with his thoughts, but you could tell by his performance that this was the case. The actor playing Homer was a real solider who really did lose his hands in the war, so that was an interesting bit of realism, too, even though his acting was clearly a bit subpar.
But--the pacing is horrible. The scenes go on and on forever. I'm not kidding when I say the movie could've been cut in half, easily. There's no reason for us to have to watch an entire wedding ceremony, or job interview, or dinner date, all of which we saw in this thing, with little or no cutting. It was just such a weird choice. Yes, I know I know, we're the MTV Generation, quick cuts and short attention spans and yadda yadda yadda. Well I say balderdash to that. Director William Wyler needed to edit that shit. Also, the score was overly dramatic and sappy, with huge overtures and violins and the whole bit. Whatever goodwill the actors garnered with their subtle performances was nearly undone by the extremely unsubtle score.
Ultimately, I'd say the movie's a failure, but a noble and good-intentioned one.
Stars: Two out of five.
Next, "The Bridge on the River Kwai", and then everybody's favorite Boy Meets Adopted Daughter rom-com, "Annie Hall".
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