#25 To Kill a Mockingbird

Racism. It's bad. So, so bad.

Plot summary (with spoilers): It's the 1930's in Maycomb, Alabama. Scout Finch is a young tomboy who lives with her brother Jem, and father Atticus. Atticus Finch lives a life of quiet dignity that comes with being the world's most perfect human. He's a lawyer who accepts food as payment for his services, like a pilgrim or Eskimo or something. He tells his children to never fight, under any circumstances. He abhors guns, but is still the best shot in town, even better than the sheriff. He'll put down a rabid dog for you, sheriff. All you have to do is ask. He's soft-spoken, wise, fair, non-judgmental, and won't even glare if you literally spit on him. Jesus once met Atticus and was like, "I'm out", before getting on His dinosaur and riding away.
So one day, Atticus goes off to work, and his children Scout and Jem play in the trees and dig wells and construct shelters and learn to control fire. They encounter a third child, a boy named Dill, who visits Maycomb in the summertime. Since his name is as equally stupid as theirs, they all become fast friends. Scout and Jem tell Dill all about Boo Radley, the mysterious neighbor who is locked up inside all day by his parents on account of being crazy and violent. They dare each other to run up to his front door and touch it before running away, and other childish pranks. (In my neighborhood, there was an old man whose driveway was on a hill and we would ride our bikes up his driveway and back down again and he would yell at us and tell us to get off his property, so it became a game to see who could quietly carry our bikes up the hill and get on them before the inevitable discovery, whereupon he would hurl open his living room window and scream at us to get out, as we'd jump on our bikes and pedal like crazy down the hill, laughing like maniacs. It was awesome. Hey...we were kind of assholes, weren't we?)  
Meanwhile, the DA asks Atticus to defend the negro Tom Robinson. Tom was accused of assault and attempted rape of a white woman named Mayella Ewell. Atticus agrees to take the case, and is promptly made a pariah in the town. Scout fights with boys in school who call Atticus a nasty racial epithet, and Atticus tells Scout she's wrong to fight, no matter what.
Before the trial, Atticus goes to the courthouse and sits vigil outside the jail. When a lynching party of goons, led by Mayella's father Bob, show up, Atticus tells them to turn around and go home. They're about to beat the hell out of Atticus when Scout, Jem, and Dill show up and shame the would-be lynchers into going home with their cherubic innocence.
Finally, the trial begins. Ooh, movie trials are usually juicy. Let's see how Atticus fucks that up. Atticus first questions Bob, who claimed to have discovered and witnessed Tom beating and attempting to rape Mayella. Atticus first ascertains that Mayella's bruise was on her right eye, which means...wait for it...the assailant was left handed. Even though only 10% of the actual population is left-handed, as we know, a good 80-85% of movie characters are left handed, provided a trial of some sort is involved. Basically, if you want to learn how to get away with any crime, become ambidextrous. Trust me, it will somehow work out for you. So yes, Bob is left handed, just like the assailant would have to be, and Tom not only is right-handed, but injured his left hand in a cotton gin and can't use it at all. When Mayella is questioned about this, she dissolves into screeching and baseless accusations.
Finally, Tom tells his story. He passed by Mayella's every day on his way to work. She would always have some chore for him. He helped her because he felt sorry for her.
At this, the entire courtroom gasps in disbelief and Atticus knows he's sunk.
Then one time, she tried to kiss him, but her father caught her and then beat her up.
Atticus gives his labored, lengthy, and deliberate closing arguments that ends with him basically saying "don't be racist".
To which the jury responds, "this is Alabama in the 1930's. What do you want from us? Guilty."
So, everyone goes home and Atticus is sad but vows to appeal, and Scout says, "Atticus, will you please lecture me for like the thirtieth time about how racism is bad?" and Atticus gladly does so. Then they all take a nap. I think this happens in real time.
Then Atticus learns that Tom was killed trying to escape is despondent.
Then Scout and Jem go trick-or-treating for Halloween, and Bob Ewell attacks them with a knife, as vengeance for Atticus humiliating him at the trial. Scout's knocked down, and Jem's arm is broken, but then they're saved by a Mysterious Man who winds up fighting and then killing Bob.
Later, Doc Old Windmill is finishing up putting a cast on Jem, and the sheriff tells Atticus that he's going to report that Bob fell on his knife. Which is weird, because it was self defense, but whatever. The sheriff says he doesn't want to get Boo Radley in trouble.
Yep, it was Boo who saved the kids. Turns out Boo was a nice guy after all, and the stories about him were based on ignorance and prejudice by people who didn't really know him. Scout wonders if the way they treated Boo could be a metaphor for the way people treated black people, but Jem tells her that's way too on the nose and obvious.
And then I think they take another nap.

Review: I haven't read the book since tenth grade. I remember liking it, but now I'm afraid to go back to it. I couldn't believe how dry and stale this movie was. Every scene is dragged out interminably, the trial in particular was like watching an actual trial in real time, and that is most certainly not a compliment. Of course, the message was probably somewhat radical in 1962, and after sitting through many shucking and jiving black characters in movies on this list, it's nice to see some sort of atonement for that, but man. So much talking about nothing. So much of Atticus patiently explaining the world to Scout, even though we the audience are not actually little girls and don't need to sit through all that. There's also plenty of scenes with the kids just fucking around, that don't advance the plot at all. Stuff like that works in novels, but needs to be streamlined for movies.
On the positive side, I'll say that the acting was very good, particularly the girl who played Scout and Gregory Peck. And I quite liked the scene where the kids shame the bad guys into leaving Tom alone and the scene where Scout and Jem talk about their dead mother while Atticus overhears them. It's also filmed well, with a well-established sense of place and time.  But most of this movie is worse than the actual South in 1930.

Stars: Two out of five.

Next, pure five star joy with "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial", and then, "The Grapes of Wrath".