Oh...yeah. Still awesome. Phew!
Plot summary (with spoilers): So an alien spaceship lands on earth, right? And all the Melmacian aliens start scooting around, picking up dirt samples and what not. But then the bad guys come riding in, in their giant metal gas guzzling machines called "cars" and start chasing the aliens! The Man With The Keys pursues on foot. The aliens get on their ship and blast off...but leave one behind.
Mike's hanging out with with friends at the house. Elliot and Gertie are there, too. And Mary, the mom. They order a pizza and when Elliott goes out to get it from the guy, he hears a strange noise in the shed. He throws in a baseball...and it comes rolling back out.
Everyone thinks it's a coyote. (But they're so wrong, you guys!!)
Later, Elliott goes lurking out into the forest nearby his house, looking around. He deposits little piles of Reese's® Pieces to use as bait. He stumbles into some tall grass...and sees the alien! They both scream. Elliott goes running back home, where he tells his mom and big brother Mike, but they won't believe him. Stupid old people.
Maybe it was an alligator in the sewer.
Alligators in the sewer.
Maybe it was a goblin or a leprechaun.
It was nothing like that, penis breath!
HA HA! Stupid Mike! (Seriously, why didn't "penis breath" catch on? So much more clinical and nasty than "cock sucker").
Elliott says he can't tell Dad because he's in Mexico and Mom cries and Mike says stupid Elliott and everyone goes to bed.
But then Elliott sneaks out later. Sits on a lounge chair outside the shed with a flashlight, and waits. Eventually, the alien emerges. It approaches Elliott. Elliott's terrified, can't speak or scream.
But it's okay because he's friendly! Phew! He holds out his hand, and drops some Reese's® Pieces on Elliot's chair.
Elliott uses the Reese's® Pieces to lure ET into the house.
The next day, he fakes sick by putting his thermometer next to his lamp and then everyone leaves the house. He shows ET all his cool toys, shows him how Boba Fett fights Han Solo, the fish, the peanut bank, the trains. They're both connected, now.
Mike comes home from school.
I have to show you something. Remember, I have absolute power. Say it!
Don't push it, Elliott.
Mike does a Yoda voice and turns around and sees ET. Then Gertie walks in. She screams. ET screams. Elliott shuffles them all off into the closet. It's so funny! Mom doesn't see or hear anything. Phew!
The three kids stare with total wide-eyed wonder. Why didn't I ever find an alien growing up? It's just not fair.
They ask ET where he's from, and he makes Elliott's models float in the air. He points out the window. Far off into the sky. The tip of his finger lights up. He makes Gertie's flowers bloom anew.
The next day Elliott goes to school while ET roams around the house. He drinks beer. Elliott gets drunk. He watches a movie. Elliott frees the frogs, stands on the fat kid and kisses the girl. ET discovers my Speak N Spell. I mean, Elliott's Speak N Spell. He needs to phone home.
Then it's Halloween, and the kids sneak ET out of the house as a ghost. Elliott and ET go off into the forest with equipment.
He have to get off and walk now, the path's too bumpy.
No it's not. ET makes Elliott and the bike fly. HOLY CRAP. They land in a meadow and ET goes about setting up his equipment. But he's looking bad, like he's getting sick.
Eventually, mom sits at home getting angrier and angrier. She goes out searching for her kids, but finds only Mike and Gertie.
By the next morning, the police are involved, but Elliott shows up, looking like crap. He begs Mike to find and help ET. Mike rides off into the forest and eventually finds the communication device...and then ET; gray and dying on the ground.
OH NO!
Mike cries out, not even sure how to touch him. He gets him home, and they reveal ET to Mom. She wants everyone out of the house. But just then, the men in masks show up, with plastic and wires and tubes and tests.
This is my house!
Elliott and ET lay sick and dying in matching hospital beds. The scientists question Gertie and Mike. So Elliott knows what it knows? No, Elliott feels what it feels.
The Man With The Keys begs Elliott to tell him how to help ET. Elliott says leave him be. But soon the connection between ET and Elliott breaks. Elliott starts to feel better. They pull him out of the room, as ET flatlines.
NO! ET! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
(And in 1982, it's at this point that my grandmother hands me some wadded up tissues from her purse and hisses at me, "get a hold of yourself, it's just a movie!")
There's nothing they can do. ET's dead. Elliott stands over his body, which is in a weird cryogenic-type box thing. He says his final goodbyes, and closes the lid, not noticing ET's huge red heart lights up right before the lid closed.
WHAT?
HE'S ALIVE!!!
Elliott sees Gertie's flowers bloom again. He runs back to ET. He sees what we already saw! THIS IS SO AWESOME.
He tells ET to be quiet, just a minute. He runs out and tells Mike. Mike jumps and hits his head. The audience laughs with intense release. I remember the audience specifically laughing there. We were sitting up right, probably the second row. It had been sold out. I remember everything.
Mike and Elliott sneak onto the van in suits while the men load ET. They take off. The men pursue.
Mom and Gertie get in the car.
They drive around into the van to the edge of the forest. Mike's friends meet them with their bikes. The bad men keep chasing.
Everyone pedals like crazy, but the men make a roadblock, blocking the way, holding their walkie-talkies threateningly.
But then...yes, then...ET makes them all fly. They sail over the heads of the bad guys and land safely in the forest. Mom and Gertie drive up, as the spaceship lands.
ET turns back to them, staring. He tells Gertie to be good.
And his finger glows. He point's to Elliott's heart. "I'll be right here".
And then he leaves, no doubt late for a congressional session with Senator Palpatine, and there's a rainbow in the sky.
Review: Yes, it's manipulative. Yes, it's schmaltzy. That ET apparently has to die and resurrect in order to communicate with his homeworld is ridiculously absurd. Yes, it's perhaps sometime a reader of this blog might assume I'd viciously mock. But it damn sure worked for me then, and it even worked for me now. I believe I've said before how Spielberg is a masterful, shameless manipulator, but does it in such an insidious way that the viewer becomes a Stockholm victim. You know you're being shamelessly manipulated, by the beauty and majesty off it is such that you just don't care. Thank you almost killing and then not killing ET, Mr. Spielberg! You're so kind! I imagine it's like the old rich man who knows the beautiful young woman isn't flirting with him because she finds him attractive but he finds the experience so pleasurable that he doesn't care.
This movie is expertly crafted, with no slow points or unnecessary scenes. We're put right into the thick of things immediately, and it perfectly captures the wonder and joy of childhood, and how every damn kid in the world would give their very last Atari Cartridge and GI Joe to be in Elliott's shoes. The scenic shots are great, the kid actors are utterly believable. Dee Wallace was pretty great, too. Why wasn't she in more stuff?
Anyways, though Spielberg's star may have gotten less bright in recent years, there's no denying his early genius. And this is probably his best. No, I haven't seen Schindler's List yet. It's coming.
Stars: Five out of five.
Next, "The Grapes of Wrath" and then then Tootsie's grandmothers in "Some Like It Hot".
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