Plot summary (with spoilers): American General Jack D. Ripper gives his executive officer Captain Lionel Mandrake a phone call.
"Captain, we're initiating Wing Attack Plan R. This is not a drill." Repeat, over, roger, ten four.
Mandrake is stunned, and also British so therefore a big pussy. "Not a drill, sir? Are you certain?"
General Ripper is certain. Mandrake enters in the three letter and three number code into the giant computer-like thing,
Up in the sky, several dozen American planes are hovering near Soviet airspace. They see the code and use their decoder booklet to confirm that indeed, Wing Attack Plan R has been initiated. The pilot of one of the planes is Maj TJ "King" Kong, who is Texan and wears a cowboy hat and says yee-haw and stuff.
So, there's a big meeting in the War Room. President Merkin Muffley is there, along with Five Star General Buck Turgidson and dozens of other advisors with no lines.
General Turgidson calmly and somewhat lackadaisically explains the sitch to the room as he chomps his gum:
General Ripper suspects the commies are putting fluoride in our water to poison us. As a result, Gen Ripper initiated Wing Attack Plan R.
President Muffley is not familiar with that plan.
Ah well, that's because it's a secret plan. You see, the plan is an authorization for a dozen planes circling around Soviet airspace to then enter said airspace and drop their cargo on the twelve targets shown here on the Big Board. This plan has been authorized and said planes are now in Russian airspace.
I'm the President! How come people under me can authorize a nuclear attack without my approval?!
Well, Wing Attack Plan R authorizes any general to initiate it. It's in case the Russians manage to kill you and the other leading members of your cabinet before you can authorize an attack.
But that didn't happen! I'm fine.
Well, the plan is not without its faults. And no, they can't be recalled. Their radios are off, just in case the Russians try to trick them into not dropping their cargo. A three number and three letter code can be entered as a recall, but only General Ripper knows the code. He's holed-up in his base right now.
Go send in some troops to get him and bring him here.
Yes sir, but that could take awhile, and the bombs are going to drop in 18 minutes or so. Gen Turgidson lays down his plan to turn lemons into lemonade. Since nuclear war is now inevitable, let's attack with all we've got! We have the element of surprise! We'll only lose 10-20 million on our side, and we'll be able to wipe them out completely.
President Muffley wants the Soviet Ambassador to join them in the War Room.
But, sir! He'll know our plans! He'll see the Big Board!
But President Muffley gets his way. And as General Ripper's base is attacked by American troops, (and defended by other American troops who believe Ripper's lies that the attacking American troops are actually Soviet troops in disguise), the Soviet Ambassador Alexei de Sadeski is ushered into the War Room, where Gen. Turgidson fumes.
Muffley gets the Soviet Premier on the phone, addresses him as "Dmitri", and speaks to him as if they are a long suffering old married couple. "Now then Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb..." And the line on the page doesn't do justice to how hilarious Peter Sellers' reading is. Muffley goes on to tell the Premier exactly where each plane is going to drop their bombs and their flight plans. He ends the call saying he's sorry, but the Premier says he is even sorrier, and they argue for awhile about who is sorrier, then Dmitri wants to talk to Sadeski, They talk in Russian briefly, then hang up,
Sadeski reveals that the Soviets have a Doomsday Device, which will go off automatically if they're attacked, and it will destroy the entire world. Muffley wonders how such a device is possible.
A new character, a German in a wheelchair named Dr. Strangelove, wheels himself forward and explains that a Doomsday Device is indeed possible and he become giddy with the prospect. He adds that such a device isn't really a deterrent if it's kept a secret, and Sadeski sheepishly reveals that they were going to announce it to the world on Monday, and that the Premier loves surprises.
As this goes on, Maj Kong and his plane are attacked by Soviet missiles. They're hit once, but manage to stay aloft, even though their cockpit is fried and no longer able to receive incoming messages.
At Ripper's base, Lionel Mandrake tries to convince Ripper to give him the recall code, while sounds of a firefight occur outside. Ripper goes on at great length about fluoride and mind control and such and Mandrake realizes it's hopeless. The invading American troops finally take over the base and Ripper shoots himself to avoid being tortured for the codes. Mandrake however, discovers the code on Ripper's desk, but his held at gunpoint by the troops. He manages to get the leader to allow him to make a phone call to the President. The landline is out though, so Mandrake uses a pay phone. He doesn't have enough change, tries for a collect call but it's denied by the White House, so he gets a solider to shoot up a vending machine and grabs the change and finally makes the call.
At the War Room, they celebrate the fact that the recall codes have been transmitted, and all the planes are turning around, except for the four the Soviets shot down. Oh, unfortunately the Soviets lied. They only shot down three planes. One plane was hit, but is still flying, and still headed for its target. Muffley gets on the horn with Dmitri again and tells him where that last plane will drop its bomb and wishes them good luck in shooting it down.
Maj Kong discovers his plane is leaking fuel and won't reach the intended target, so his crew decides to drop it now. But the bomb doors have jammed. Kong leaves the cockpit and crawls down below. He climbs on top of one of the two bombs and takes a screwdriver to the controls. Finally, he manages to open the doors and the bombs drop, with him on top of one of them. He rides it down, waving his cowboy hat and yee-hawing all the way.
Back at the War Room, Dr. Strangelove addresses Muffley as "Mien Fuhrer" and has trouble keeping his right arm from making a Nazi salute as he advises the President that several thousand people should live down in the mineshafts for the next one hundred years until the radiation from the Doomsday Device clears. The men should be chosen for their intelligence and strength and the women should be chosen for their beauty, and should outnumber the men 10-1, to ensure repopulation goes smoothly. DeSadeski holds a spy camera and surreptitiously takes pictures of the Big Board. Turgidson exclaims that the Ruskies can't beat us in the upcoming Mineshaft Race and we've got to get started immediately. Muffley just sits slumped and defeated, taking it all in. Dr. Strangelove excitedly gets up from his wheelchair while discussing the various women he will procreate with, then exclaims, "Mien Fuhrer! I can walk!"
And then all over the world, the Doomsday Device goes off, nuclear bomb after nuclear bomb destroying everyone and everything as Till We Meet Again plays.
Review: It's at times weird and dark but not really that funny, and at other times flat-out hysterical. It's amazing how well the movie walks up to the line of farce without ever becoming farce. We know these events are ridiculous, but the characters take it seriously, and respond humorously but also in-character, which is so rare for spoofs and satires. Also, the laws of physics are never broken, we're never in cartoon land. This isn't Naked Gun or Airplane. This is a tiny step above that, and that grounds the material and makes it real and believable and that much funnier. Okay, actually Dr. Strangelove's own hand trying to do a Nazi salute against his will might've gone into flat-out farce territory, but it was the only moment that didn't really work for me. Even Slim Pickens riding the bomb to the ground was great. I had seen that image before, and had kinda rolled my eyes, because it's so on the nose (American cowboy rides a nuclear bomb while waving his cowboy hat around) but I didn't realize how organic it was to the story. He didn't ride it down on purpose, after all.
Turns out, everyone who watches movies is right. Peter Sellers is a fucking genius. All three of his characters are distinct, funny, and real. The one-sided conversations the President has with "Dmitri" are so damn funny they had me laughing out loud multiple times. And the thing is, if you just read it, there aren't really many jokes. It's just all situational.
I would also give George C Scott major props, because he's hysterical as well, but according to wiki, Kubrick tricked Scott into giving this performance by telling him to go "over-the-top" in practice takes that they would never use. And guess what? They used them. Scott apparently was furious and vowed to never work with Kubrick again.
And another bonus, it's only 95 minutes, which is basically a short film for Kubrick, who for my money, tends to go on way too long in most his movies. This is definitely my favorite Kubrick so far.
Stars: Four and a half out of five.
Next, "The Treasure of Sierra Madre" and then "The Best Years of Our Lives".
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