Sunday, July 10, 2011

#67 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)


Plot summary (with spoilers): A small New England college campus party ends after cocktails and polite conversations and George and his wife Martha head home. Martha wants to know what that movie was where Bette Davis said "what a dump!", but George doesn't know and doesn't care.  He never cares. He just wants to have a nightcap and to go to bed, but Martha springs it on him that she's invited people to come over. 
But it's after midnight!  Why can't they come over some other time? Because Daddy wants us to be friendly with them.  Hey, remember tonight?  The joke?  The elitist college professors literary joke?  "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?  Virginia Woolf?  Virginia Woolf?"  HA HA HA HA!  
Fine, they can come over, but don't start in.  Don't mention our son.  I'll mention what I want to mention!  No games, Martha. SCREW YOU!
FUN AND GAMES
Nick and Honey arrive, they're young and dumb and full of whatever. Martha screeches at George, flirts with Nick, dismisses Honey.  They all drink and drink and drink, like on Mad Men.  Seriously, the entire 1960's was just one big bottle of Scotch, wasn't it? Martha shows Honey the upstairs, while George talks with Nick. What're your aspirations?  How old are you?  Are you happy in your marriage?  Nick tries his best to bat them away, but is clearly outmatched and ultimately just wants to go home. Honey comes back down and wants another drink.
Your wife mentioned your son.
Did she?
Yes, it's his birthday tomorrow, and he's coming to visit.  Congrats!
Honey starts to slide quickly into Drunkville where she'll remain for the duration. Martha comes back downstairs, gets even more grabby with Nick.  George mentions their son, but Martha now doesn't want to talk about it.  Him, I mean. She tells Nick a story about how when George met her father he she embarrassed him by sucker punching him in the face.  George goes to the closet, takes out a gun, and fires at Martha.  Everyone screams, but it's just an umbrella.  Martha loves the joke.  "I haven't seen that much life in you in years".  She wants a kiss, but he's repulsed by her total fucking hideousness. She's pissed and hurt, and starts talking about their son again.  She claims he might not be George's, but George is quiet confident that he is. They argue about his basic stats, like eye and hair color. These people do not know how to "yes, and". 
Honey gets sick and has to throw up, Martha holds back her hair, or perhaps gives her a swirlie.  
Nick and George go outside and get chummy. George tells Nick the sad story of the "friend" he had that accidentally shot his mother when he was a boy and later got in a car accident while learning to drive with his father, and killed him too.  He claims the friend is in an asylum, now.  Nick confesses he married Honey because she was pregnant, but it turned out to be a hysterical pregnancy, and now he's stuck.  They both "joke" about how Nick should sleep with Martha in order to get her to put in a good word with her father. 
HUMILIATE THE HOST
Time to drive Nick and Honey home, but Martha wants to go dancing. So they go because obviously they all need to spend more time together. Nick dances sexily with Martha, while Honey drools and drinks some more, and finally Martha tells Nick the story of the "friend" who killed his parents, and reveals that it was George himself.  What a twist! George starts choking the shit out of Martha until Nick pulls him off.  Nick and Honey decide it's time to leave because they have a really good sense of intuiting these sort of subtle social cues and they walk out of the abandoned bar. Martha berates George for not being present in their marriage and expresses a desire for a more equal partnership.  Well, that's the subtext, anyway.  It's mostly just a lot of shrieking and calling him a loser and a flop. 
George warns her she humiliated him and she had better not go any further.  But she doesn't care.
War?
Total war!
HUMP THE HOSTESS.
Martha drives the car home, leaving George at the bar.  She stops about a mile down the road where Nick and Honey are walking, and picks them up. George hangs his head. By the time he arrives home, Honey is passed out in the back seat, and he sees Nick and Martha's silhouettes in the bedroom window. George tries to remain calm, but winds up throwing a rock at their wind chime.  Honey springs awake.  "Bells! I heard bells!  Who's at the door?" George ignores her, then comes up with an idea. "It was the Western Union man.  He had a telegram.  It was about our son.  Our son is dead".  Honey sees it as if it's actually happened, and begins to cry. 
Martha and Nick come downstairs. She calls him a flop, he blames the booze.  George comes in the door with flowers.  Flores para los muertos. George asks Martha to talk about their son.  She does so.  She tells about the day he was born, and when they brought him home. And how he grew to become so ashamed of his father. George mentions the telegram. He asks Honey if she remembers.  She does.  The telegram said our son is dead, Martha.
No, you can't kill him!  YOU CAN'T KILL OUR SON!
Lady, he had nothing to do with it, says Nick, because he's a fucking moron. 
Martha weeps.  "Please don't kill him."  He's dead, Martha.
Nick finally gets it.  He and Honey decide to leave for the fiftieth time that evening. 
George is left with Martha.  He sings for her, "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?"  And of course, she is.

Review: Perhaps of all the movies on this whole list, this is the one of which I am most familiar. I've actually only seen it twice, but I've seen a handful of productions, studied the play at length, acted out many scenes, can quote whole swatches of dialog, and plan to perform this puppy with a certain Miss Carla Nell as my Martha once we're old enough one day. And, uh...come to think of it, that day isn't that far away anymore.  Sigh.  It's like when I used to be Bart's age and now I'm Homer's. 
Anyway, the movie is virtually identical to the play, except they don't drive to the bar in the play, and don't go out in the yard.  Not sure why those touches were necessary, except just for a change of scenery.  But this time around, I finally felt like I understood the motivations of the characters on a level that I never had before.  Getting older has its advantages.  Or maybe it's a disadvantage to finally really know what Martha is talking about when she's going on about how disappointing life can be. I can't really think of anything to complain about, except to say that as good as the movie is, it really can't compare to the live theatre experience.  I don't blame Mike Nichols for making this a movie, I just don't really see the point.  But I'm probably too close to it.  Liz Taylor and Richard Burton are certainly hypnotically good and their chemistry is off the charts.  George Segal holds his own, too. It's weird to see him so young and kinda hot even, but don't tell anyone I said that. Anyway, if you've never seen this live, bust out your google and do a search.  I think there's always a production in every city in America, by Federal law. And if you can't find one, I guess you can settle for the movie.

Stars: Four out of five.

Next, "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and then "The African Queen", which is not about RuPaul, apparently. 




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