#57 Rocky (1976)

Gonna fly now....

Plot summary (with spoilers): Rocky Balboa, the big palooka with the heart of gold, is in the middle of a match with some other dude. The guy full-on head butts him--like, what is this dirty MMA shit?--and Rocky loses it and pounds the guy in the dust, winning the match. During his lengthy walk home through the rather ethereal and calm streets of Philly, he encounters a group of corner boys singing and drinking wine from the bottle. They greet him warmly, he takes a swig, and he continues on his way. At his little home, he greets his pet turtles and fish, and moves the fishbowl over to the turtle container so they can all say hi. Then he changes his shoes and sweater and tells us we're all very special.
The next day at the pet store, he encounters shy mousy little Adrian, who has glasses which is movie shorthand for ugly and shy, and he tells her a joke he rehearsed the night before. It's actually really quite endearing. Then Rocky goes to his day job, which is working as an enforcer for a loan shark. He hassles a guy who owes 200 bucks, but can only come up with 130. Rocky's supposed to break his thumb, but can't bring himself to do it.  His loan shark boss lectures him on being too nice, and Rocky feels bad. He goes to his local gym, to workout and train for his next match.  He tries to open his locker, but it won't budge, causing him to take off his hat and pull out a little slip of paper with the combination, which is an extraordinary detail. Turns out though, the locker has been given to another boxer, and Rocky's supplies are hanging on a coat hook.  Rocky confronts the gym owner Mickey, who spits out pieces of the set and growls some nonsense about Rocky not trying hard enough to deserve a locker, and I'm sorry I just can't take The Penguin seriously at all.
Rocky's pissed but doesn't let it get him down. He hangs out with his friend Paulie, who looks exactly like you imagine he does, and also happens to be Adrian's brother. Paulie says that Adrian has agreed to go out with him, and they head over to Paulie and Adrian's house to pick her up. When they get there, turns out Paulie was full of it, and Adrian doesn't want to go out. She says she's cooking a turkey in the oven. Paulie goes over to the oven and throws the turkey out the window. Adrian screams at him and runs back down the hall and into her room. Rocky shifts uncomfortably and says that "maybe" this isn't a good time and he should come back later. Boy, Rocky can really read a room. Paulie though, is adamant that Adrian get the fuck out of the house for a little while and bangs on the door to her bedroom. Rocky walks down the hall, all nervous tics and yos, and says to Adrian that she'll have a good time, he swears. Adrian finally opens the door and agrees to go out with him.
They go to the ice rink, but it's Thanksgiving day and the ice rink has closed early. Rocky begs the guy to let Adrian skate for a little bit, and the guy agrees to ten minutes for ten bucks. Aw, Rocky. That's so sweet, yo.
He runs along Adrian as she skates, talking a mile a minute about his life and hers and his pets and his boxing and the fact that he's never broken his nose, and explains the history of the term "south paw" (something to do with New Jersey) and basically is so nervous he can't shut up for a second, while Adrian takes it all in and offers very little in return. She does ask him why he's a boxer though, and Rocky says it's because he can't sing or dance. He beams proudly. "HEYYY-OHHH!  Bada bing!"  Well, this is upsetting.  I think I'm falling in love with Rocky.
They walk back to Rocky's place, he's over the top solicitous, asking her if she liked skating, liked dinner, had a good time, enjoyed the weather, the topography, the architecture, Pennsylvania, the earth, the solar system. She says she did. He asks her in. She says no. He cajoles. She goes inside. Rocky sits down, takes his coat off, while Adrian stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed, trying desperately to resist the irresistible. She says she should go and Paulie will be worried about her. Rocky yells out the window, "Hey Paulie, your sister's with me!" It should be trashy and dumb but it's sexy as hell and warm and self-deprecating to boot. She goes to the door. Rocky stands up, kinda blocks her, but not in a way that's intimidating. He begs her to stay, moving in closer. She resists. He asks her to take off her glasses. She doesn't, but neither does she resist when he takes them off for her. He takes off her hat, too. They kiss, finally, then sort of fall to the ground in a pile by the doorway as we fade out.  Damn.
Some time later, Rocky's training at the gym when the grizzled Penguin tells Rocky that some men want to talk to him. While all this has been going on, we've been treated to a few scenes with the Heavyweight Champion of the World, Apollo Creed, who was supposed to fight another boxer in Philadelphia in about a month's time, but the guy got injured, and now Apollo's decided to give an unknown a shot at the belt. He and his entourage poured over countless locals until they discovered "The Italian Stallion", aka Rocky (the Italian Stallion is his porn name). Apollo's men approach Rocky and offer him the deal. Terrified, Rocky reflexively says no, but the dude convinces him otherwise, saying that this is the ticket out of the minors, and offering him 150 grand.
Suddenly, Rocky's real popular. He does a press conference with the arrogant and condescending Apollo, and while the sportscasters make Italian jokes, Rocky sits with now girlfriend Adrian and Paulie and basks in the fame. Mickey comes to Rocky's house, hat in hand, and tells of his past success as a fighter, and asks to be Rocky's manager. Rocky turns him down, but then when he leaves the house, Rocky screams at him through the closed door, saying that Mickey never respected him or his abilities, and calls out his transparent ploy. But then he agrees to let him mange him anyway.  Not feeling this storyline.
Rocky gets up the next morning, drinks some raw eggs, runs up those famous steps, but can hardly reach the top without gasping and being doubled over in pain.
Meanwhile, Paulie gets jealous and lashes out at both Rocky and Adrian, but later proves useful as a PR guy, getting the press to show up and film Rocky training in a walk-in freezer, where Rocky hits cold slabs of hanging meat. Apollo meanwhile preens and showboats and is more interested in finding a cool outfit to wear when he enters the ring than in training. His trainer worriedly watches Rocky on TV, beating the hell out of the meat and bloodying his knuckles, but can't even get Apollo to turn his head and look.
Then Mickey trains Rocky to run faster, climb higher, do one handed pushups and hit that meat even harder.
Everybody!:

Oh, we're gonna need a montage/Oh, it takes a montage/show a lot of things happening all at once/remind everyone what's going on/and with every shot, show a little improvement/to show it all would take too long/that's why you need a montage (montage)/oh, we want a montage!

And he climbs those steps two at a time, and the camera swings around and Rocky throws up his hands and runs in place and if your heart isn't beating just a little bit faster, you're not human, period.  Even with some twee fucking lyrics like "Getting strong now/won't be long now". 

In the eleventh hour, Rocky's plagued with self doubt. He visits Adrian, says he doesn't think he can do it. Adrian: So, what do we do?  (Psst: Adrian!  You're supposed to say, "you can do this, Rocky!  I believe in you!"  Look, do you need me to take over?  Because I will do it.)

Rocky subtly moves the goalposts and says doesn't care about winning, he just wants to go all 15 rounds and prove he's a contender. 

The match. Rocky wears a robe that's too big with ads on the back that Paulie got paid for.  Apollo Creed enters like it's the WWF, dressed as George Washington with a giant red white and blue outfit and top hat. He points at Rocky and says "I want you!", which the announcer hilariously and unnecessarily clarifies is a reference to the "military recruitment poster with Uncle Sam". Like that was seriously right out of Best in Show.

Round One.  Apollo taunts Rocky, making little jabs, dancing around the ring. Rocky eventually lays him out with an uppercut to the jaw. Apollo staggers to his feet. The bell rings. They go back to their corners, and Apollo's manager tells him that Rocky doesn't know that this "isn't a real fight" and that Apollo needs to take him down now. 

Round Two. More of the same. Both fighters get in good hits, no clear superior fighter is established. Rounds 3 through 14 pass in a blur, and both Rocky and Apollo are bloody and beaten down and snarling insults at each other everytime they get in a clinch. Rocky's nose is busted, Apollo's ribs are cracked. Both mangers want to stop the fight, but neither Apollo or Rocky agree. 

Rocky's eye is sealed shut, so they cut open the lid. Rocky, I think we should see other people.

The fight finally ends, with both men still standing. Rocky bellows "YO, ADRIAN!  ADRIAN!!"  Adrian races through the throngs of cheering fans. 

The announcer says it's a split decision. Rocky isn't even listening, just keeps calling out Adrian's name. 

She reaches the ring, he races to her.

The announcer says Apollo Creed is the winner.

Rocky takes Adrian in his arms, says he loves her. They kiss.  Needless to say, Rocky has his own definition of the word. 

Review: Wait, what?  Rocky lost?!  How the fuck did I never know that?!  That's amazing!  This is a great movie, you guys. Forgive me, I didn't know. Stallone has always been sort of a nonentity to me.  I never disliked him really, but when pressed I couldn't exactly think of a good thing to say about him, either. He's always come across as very polished, very 80's, very much a cartoon like Arnold or Van Damme or something. I mean, I liked Demolition Man okay, and Rambo II was fine, and very much of the 80's. The only Rocky movie I'd ever seen before this was Rocky IV, where he ends the Cold War by beating up Dolph Lundgren, so I truly had no idea just how far the series had fallen up to that point. There are a couple of weak moments, though. I didn't like Burgess Meredith's overacting or the character of Paulie, really, though both those storylines are dealt with okay. Talia Shire did fine. Though how she stumbled into two great classic franchises, I'll never know. Also, there were a few rough edits, including a scene where Rocky and Paulie exchange two lines of dialogue ("Are you sure she'll go out with me?" "Yeah, she's thrilled.") and then thirty seconds later in they say exactly the same lines again. Bad, bad editing. But of course, the low low budget is clearly part of the movie's charm.

I certainly wasn't at all prepared for how good Stallone would be in this, and how natural and uncalculating and un-cartoon like. And unlike anything Ahnold's ever done, this movie succeeds in part because of Sly's presence, not in spite of it. And Rocky the character? Well, he's just freaking adorable, is what he is, and practically angelic in both looks and deeds. I also didn't realize the match itself would be tacked on the end almost as an afterthought, and I never thought in a million billion years Rocky would lose. That's totally brilliant, that he lost but didn't really care. The writing is sometimes too earnest and sappy, and Rocky is too, but somehow the director manages to make you complicit in the sappiness, very much in the old school Spielberg way, where your heart soars and your nose crinkles simultaneously during certain scenes and lyrics like "getting strong now/won't be long now/gonna fly now".  But somehow the heart wins out. The triumph of the human spirit is a very appealing notion.

I can't believe I'm even asking this, but should I watch any of the other ones, or is this totally the law of diminishing returns?  

Stars: Four and a half out of five.

Next, another big one with "Jaws", and then my first Hitchcock movie ever, "North By Northwest".