Plot summary (with spoilers): High school seniors and buddies Sonny and Duane (a shockingly young and hot Jeff Bridges) are meeting up and hanging out the local pool hall. Picture it. Texas. 1951. A little podunk town. Tiny, desolate, and bleak. The kind of town that has scared away all primary colors. The pool hall owner, Sam the Lion, mildly gives the boys shit about not doing so well in last night's football game. The boys shrug, clearly not giving a damn. They also play around a little with Sam's son Billy, who is mentally retarded and mute. They're there to meet up with their girlfriends and catch a flick at the picture show, also owned by Sam.
They meet the girls; dour and unpleasant Charlene for Sonny, and popular and virginal Jacy (a shockingly young and hot Cybil Shepherd) for Duane. The date goes badly for Sonny and Charlene, and Sonny finds himself breaking up with her. Later that night, after some second-base action with Duane, Jacy returns home and his confronted by her mother Lois, (a shockingly young and hot Ellen Burstyn) who doesn't want Jacy with Duane. She is afraid he'll slow down her life and keep her stuck in this shitty little town forever. Jacy says she loooooves Duane and will marry him and have ten thousand of his babies and call them all "Dude". Lois encourages Jacy to use birth control and sleep around, and she'll discover that there's nothing too great about Duane. Jacy scoffs at this, but privately wonders if her mom's right.
The next day at school, Sonny's gym coach asks Sonny if he could come around to the house after school and pick up his wife and drive her to the "clinic" for reasons unstated. Boundaries, Coach! Damn. Sonny agrees. I'd like to think that even in high school, I would've told the Coach to cram it.
After the clinic, we see Sonny driving home the Coach's wife, Ruth Popper (a shockingly...well...Cloris Leachman, who...um..still somehow looks at least 60). She is silent and stoic the whole ride home. When they arrive at the house, he says goodbye, but she invites him in. Sonny follows reluctantly. He sits down at the kitchen table and she offers him a Dr. Pepper. He takes it, (remember glass bottles?! Aw....) and she immediately begins to cry. Maybe it was her last Dr. Pepper? Sonny goes to make tracks out of there, and Ruth apologizes and asks if he'll be back next week for another ride to the clinic. Sonny says he will, and then bolts. Wow. It's exactly like Body Heat.
That night, at a town dance, local school-kid Lester (a shockingly young and not yet crazy Randy Quaid) approaches Jacy and invites her to a naked pool party later that night. Seems the parents of a rich kid from a neighboring city are going out of town and the rich kid himself likes to invite a bunch of people over for a naked swim when this happens. Jacy says no, heavens no, I couldn't, that's disgusting, well I'm on a date with Duane, can I get back to you on that?
A few hours later, Duane and Jacy are in the car. Jacy tells Duane that gosh darn it, her mother is making her go to a Christmas party with Lester and his parents this very night. Duane protests, and Jacy shuts him up with a kiss. She then moves his hand to her breast. The begin to get into it, lots of kissing and rubbing. Slowly, Jacy takes his hand and puts it under his skirt. Duane holds his breath. Then moves his hand. Jacy suddenly breaks away. "I'm late! I've got to get to the party!" She bolts out of the car, and runs over to the front of the dance hall, where Lester is. Not cool, Jacy! Not cool!
Furious and pent up, Duane storms out of the truck and threatens to beat the living shit out of Lester. Duane's a total Star Whacker. Local townspeople break them up before Lester is creamed. Lester and Jacy drive to the party, leaving Duane in the dust. With nothing to do, Duane hooks up with Sonny and a bunch of other boys, looking for entertainment. Their big idea? Getting the mentally retarded kid Billy laid. They know an obese woman in town who will to it for three bucks. I can't see how this isn't the most awesome plan ever.
Meanwhile, Jacy and Lester arrive at the pool party. The rid kid, Bobby, jumps out of the pool to greet them, impressive wang swinging merrily. Jacy is clearly aroused and excited. There are a dozen or so other pretty naked boys and girls. Bobby tells Jacy that the first time you come to a naked pool party, you must be initiated. This is accomplished with a slow strip on the diving board while everyone watches. Jacy does as she's told, flipping off her shoes, then her dress, then about seventeen layers of underwear, before finally jumping in the pool. Everyone cheers.
The obese woman waits in the car while the boys grab Billy by the shoulders and push him over to her. The woman is grouchy and yells at him for not knowing what he's doing, then yells out in disgust after he gets his "stuff" all over her, and then pushes him out of the car and onto the ground. He cries, having gotten a bloody nose. The boys perhaps begin to wonder what they hoped to accomplish here, in the first place. The woman says she won't do that again for less than five bucks. Let's just call this Awkward and Horrifying Sex Scene Part I.
Later at the pool party, everyone's indoors and clothed. Lester clumsily tries to put the moves on Jacy. She has no patience for it, and snaps at him, then wanders into the kitchen. There stands Bobby. She stammers and smiles and says hi. He reaches out and grabs her vagina. Yes, that's right. "Are you a virgin?" She nods, swallows. "Come back when you're not". And he disappears in a cloud of dust, leaving behind a giant fucking douchebag as his spirit animal. Jacy quivers with desire.
The boys return to the pool hall to give Billy back to his dad, Sam the Lion. Sam asks what happened. Sonny tells him, saying sorry, we didn't mean to hurt him. Sam calmly tells them that they're all banned from his pool hall, diner, and picture show, from now on. "You didn't even have the decency to wipe the blood off his face". Damn.
Another day, driving home from the mysterious clinic. Ruth invites Sonny in again for a drink. Sonny agrees. Sonny finally asks her what's wrong, but Ruth only waves that off. She kisses him. She asks him to come back to the bedroom. He does so. They stand side by side and slowly strip down to their underwear, without making eye contact. They climb into bed, remove their underwear, and Sonny climbs on top of Ruth as slowly and unsexily as possible. He begins to thrust, with all the agency and importance of a tortoise climbing on the beach at the Red Sea. Ruth starts to cry. Sonny tries to lean back to see her face, but Ruth grips his torso and won't let him. She cries as silently as she can while Sonny somehow finishes up. Ruth apologizes for crying and says he'll probably want to leave now. Sonny says he's going nowhere, and kisses her gently. They lie in the afterglow. And we'll call this Awkward and Horrifying Sex Scene Part II.
Sonny goes to the diner sometime later, and encounters Sam's friend and local waitress Genevieve (a shockingly young and still very bizarre looking Eileen Brennan). Genevieve tells Sonny she's not allowed to let him in. But Billy is there, and he's forgotten all about the ugly incident, and he wants to play with Sonny. Genevieve lets him in. Soon after, Sam arrives. Sonny says he was just leaving. Sam calls him back, seeing how sad Billy is to see him go. Sam takes Sonny and Billy fishing, where they talk for a while, and we learn that Sam thinks of Sonny as a surrogate child. Which is good, because we never do meet Sonny's parents.
Duane and Sonny decide to go on a road trip to Mexico. They have about forty dollars saved. Sam gives them another forty in case of emergency, and sends them on their way. Because we the audience are not allowed to leave this god-forsaken place, the action picks back up immediately upon Duane and Sonny's return. Duane complains he must've ate something disagreeable because his stomach hurts. Sonny suggests it might've been a Mexican prostitute who gave him something. They arrive back at the diner, and are surprised to find it closed, even though it's the middle of the day. They encounter a man on the street who tells them that Sam the Lion died a few days ago. The boys are floored. Furthermore, Sam has willed the diner to Genevieve, the theater to a woman who runs the concession stand, and the pool hall to Sonny. Congrats, Sonny. You now have roots in this community. Sonny is devastated by Sam's passing and goes to Ruth for comfort. They are more comfortable around each other now and have an easy rapport. Ruth implies her marriage is a loveless one (apparently the director and writer said the Coach was supposed to be gay, which I guess lets Ruth off the hook a little bit, infidelity-wise) and Sonny is her only joy in life. They are somewhat happy, I guess.
Jacy is determined to do as Bobby required and lose her virginity. Duane is thrilled to oblige. Okay, finally! A hot sex scene. Jeff Bridges and Cybil Shepherd, both in their prime, let's go! Except that Duane is still feeling weird after Mexico and can't perform. Oddly, Jacy's angry admonishments to hurry up already don't help as much as she apparently thinks they will. Awkward and Horrible Sex Scene Part III. Jacy tells him to lie and say they did it. She then later breaks up with him by phone. Duane is furious and heartbroken. He decides he can't live here anymore, and enlists in the army, going off to boot camp. Jacy meanwhile learns that Bobby has gotten married (you should see how he proposes). She scans around for her sexing options, and after an Awkward and Horrible Sex Scene Part IV with her mom's lover, she decides Sonny is her best bet. She flirts with him aggressively and asks him out. Sonny, having already made a date with Ruth that night, tries to beg off, but she gets more flirtatious and sure enough, a hot eighteen year old beats out a weepy middle-aged housewife every time.
Sometime later, Duane returns from boot camp and learns through the grapevine of Sonny and Jacy's dalliance. He confronts Sonny, and tells him to stay away from "his" girl. Sonny angrily says they're broken up, and after a heated exchange, Duane breaks a bottle on Sonny's head, cutting his face up pretty good.
When Jacy learns of this, she is so impressed with Sonny's bravery that she wants to get married. I think I kind of hate Jacy. Jacy suggests they elope, and Sonny's on board. They are traveling down the road, when Jacy says aloud that she hopes her parents don't try to stop them. Sonny says they don't even know where they are. Jacy admits that actually she left a note telling them where they're going and what route they're taking, but that probably result in anything happening. A police car pulls them over. The cop asks them to wait, while he radios base. Turns out, Jacy's parents have reported her missing. They arrive shortly after, and Jacy's dad tells Sonny to stay away from his daughter. Jacy and her dad drive back to town in her car, while Sonny and Lois go back in the parent's car. Lois parks in front of Sonny's house. Just as I'm afraid that we're about to get Awkward and Horrible Sex Scene Part V, Lois tells Sonny that she knows about him and Ruth, and says that Ruth would be a much better choice for him than Jacy. Is there no Option C? She also admits to having had an affair with Sam the Lion years ago, and she misses him dearly. Sonny thanks her. Aw, that was kind of sweet.
Duane and Sonny go out for a man date, having settled their differences. Jacy has left town to go to college back east, and good riddance there. Duane and Sonny learn that tonight is the last night for the theater to remain open, you might even say the last picture show if you were feeling whimsical. Seems the woman who ran it after Sam was unable to keep it going. Duane and Sonny enjoy the show, then hug good-bye, as Duane ships off to Korea the following morning. Say hi to Hawkeye for me, Duane. Or never mind, I'll do it myself in about 41 movies from now.
Another cold and lonely day at the pool hall. Out of the corner of his eye, Sonny sees a truck outside, having stopped in the road. He walks outside and sees a group of men standing around in a circle, looking at the ground. He walks closer, and with growing horror realizes it's Billy. The truck driver says he didn't get any warning, the dumb kid just walked out in front of him. The men are flippant and rude. Sonny screams at them to back up, then picks up Billy in his arms and carries him over to a table. He lies him on the table, and covers his face, and begins to weep. Suddenly, he gets up, goes back to the pool hall, grabs a bag, and jumps in his truck, blowing out of town. YES! GO SONNY, GO! His face is grim and determined. But suddenly, he relaxes, takes his foot off the gas, rolls to a stop. He does a U-turn. NO!! STOP SONNY, STOP!
He drives to Ruth's house, knocks on the door. She opens it and is stunned to see him. He asks to come in. She says yes. He sits down at the same kitchen table as before, unmoving. She offers him coffee, then apologizes for still being in her robe. Suddenly, she screams and throws the coffee pot at the wall. No, she's not sorry! Why the fuck is she apologizing?! He's the one who broke her heart and ran off with some girl, and now he's come crawling back?! Just as Ruth is working up to literally ripping his throat out, she sees what enormous pain Sonny is in, recognizes it as similar to her own, and calms down. "Well, never mind", she says. "It's fine. It's fine". And so it is. She strokes his arm as we fade out.
Review: Wow. What a bleak and desolate story. This is a piece of America that's all but gone now, but one that should forever be remembered through this movie. Maybe not for everyone, but extremely well told, with a who's who of great actors, bringing the story to life. The black and white choice fit perfectly, giving us both a sense of being back in time, and a sense of isolation and hopelessness. This is a damn near perfect movie, accomplishing everything it set out to do, making characters who do unlikable things still somehow likable, because you understand their motivations, and would probably do the same in their shoes. I find myself hoping the best for Sonny and Ruth, and Duane, and Lois and Genevieve, and even Jacy, and wondering about their futures. That's always a good sign for a movie.
Stars: Five out of five.
Does it deserves "Best 100" Status: Yes oh yes. And Do The Right Thing has quickly been usurped of its title, making The Last Picture Show the best on my list so far. Although, Pulp Fiction is coming up...
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